No Regrets
by KricketWilliams
Summary: A story about missed opportunities. Looking back, they had so many had so many chances. Pretty angsty, but probably won't stay that way, because I love HEA.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_AN: I don't own a thing_. _Just had to type. Thought I'd have a break, but the story fairy is beating me with the wand. _

It was going to be a hellishly long day, Derek thought, as he read through file after file and wrote summaries on each case. This was part of the job that he hated. He had a lot more of these to do, now that he was acting unit chief. There was so much more that he liked doing, the physical aspect of the job in particular. He was going to get soft sitting here.

He stretched his arms over his head and rolled his shoulders, working out the kinks. It wasn't working. The stiffness was there, aching and making it hard to type. He was a slow-ass typist anyhow; this was not improving matters. He looked down the hall from his office and saw a light shining out of Garcia's office.

Penelope. He sighed. Not too long ago, he would have just walked in there and sat, and she'd massage his neck, without a word. They always knew exactly what to do, how to make each other smile when the world was nuts. They were that connected. Best friends, forever. Until he ruined it.

It was almost funny. He had always known that his baby girl had a crush on him. Derek was used to that; he had women fighting over him for years. It didn't phase him much anymore; once they got close enough to know he was plagued with nightmares and had a strong lack of faith because of the horror he saw every day, they backed off. He was a tortured soul; it took a very strong woman to stay with him.

She flirted shamelessly with him, and he flirted back, almost as bad. She usually had him beat; some of the stuff she said actually made him blush! He'd always taken it as a joke, nothing serious. Through that, he found himself so comfortable with her. There was no need to pretend with her, no need to be the suave player that he was with others. Hell, he could burp in front of her, she'd just burp back.

Then, one morning she came in and didn't flirt with him as usual. She just walked past, a dreamy look on her face. She told him about meeting a guy. "Smokin' hot," she said. He was surprised, that was for sure. But something else hit, deep in his gut, but he didn't want to put a name on it. When she expressed worry about the guy, that solidified it that there was "definitely something wrong with him."

This did not bode well with Garcia. She actually yelled at him, the first time she did that in three years. "Just because you wouldn't cross a crowded room to hit on me does not mean that a more perceptive, less superficial guy wouldn't." She then added that he "sucked" and hung up. He took her words to heart. Would he cross the room to hit on Garcia? He thought about how vibrant she was, and how warm and caring.

He thought about that "perceptive" comment, too. Was there something he was supposed to be perceiving that he didn't see? All he knew was, that started changing how he felt about her deep inside.

He didn't have time to really dive into his feelings; she was shot and he was chasing the bad guy that did it (Mr. "Smokin' hot!"). He poured his heart into it. He _loved_ her, he loved _her_, and he wanted that guy to pay for hurting her. He also felt guilty for not being there to protect her, for not recognizing his own feelings prior to this horrible accident. He decided she needed to know that night, that minute.

"I love you, baby girl. You know that, right?" he said, his heart in his eyes.

"I love you too," she said. He smiled, and shuffled her off to bed. She was recovering; once she was healthier, he'd examine his relationship with her more. But he didn't get the chance; Garcia started dating a tech guy named Kevin Lynch immediately returning to work. Obviously it wasn't the same kind of love anymore.

He was nauseating, he just hung on Penelope like a bad scarf. Penelope could do so much better than him! He was disheveled, unkempt, geeky. He thought it would pass, until the rumor went around that Rossi walked in on them in flagrante delicto. "What? No way," he said, but the others on the team were laughing, having fun with this. He wasn't having so much fun; in fact, he had to leave. He was too late; he had waited too long to do anything.

They were still dating even now. Derek decided a long time ago that he needed to move on. He had a string of short stands, but that was is. Until he met Tamara. She was beautiful, she understood agony- she was a victim's sister. He was hoping she'd be the one to move him towards a normal life, away from the BAU. He decided he need to distance himself from his job, this job that ate your life and then handed you the bill. And part of that was to distance himself from Penelope.

So, he sat back at his desk, ignoring the light down the hall, and continued typing.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She glanced down at the invitation in her hands for the annual FBI Community Service Awards. She felt a little like Cinderella, with the invitation to the ball. It was a black tie, gala event. She rounded up her perennial date for this kind of thing and was set to go. Then she wondered if Derek would be there? Last year, she had so much fun laughing with him. He used to goof around, practical joke, and flirt a lot. There was a boyish charm about him, even though he was pushing forty. That died down a little after Kevin popped up, and died completely when Tamara came on the scene.

Now she couldn't remember the last time she heard him laugh…

Penelope looked down the hall where Derek still sat. He worked longer and longer every night, getting more and more standoffish and distant. She missed him. He didn't even visit at work anymore. When she called, he called her "Garcia." (That made her shudder, it was so awful!) He was an island onto himself, miles away, and it scared her and made her sad.

She knew that she shouldn't worry. He had Tamara now, and things would be okay for him. She was deep in thought, a little melancholy. What the hell happened to her best friend? She was thinking too hard, thinking back. She tried to fight it, but she thought about that night, again.

It was the first night home after Battle shot her. He told her he loved her. She knew he meant it as a friend but for her it was so much more. That night, she replayed the scene a hundred times in her mind. She remembered how he said it, what his eyes and face looked like. Her heart would sing when she thought maybe, just maybe, there was "real" love there. She loved him; she always loved him.

Cold reality washed over her like ice and her heart plummeted. Someone gorgeous like Battle wasn't interested in her in a romantic fashion, why would someone even more beautiful like Morgan be? She knew he wasn't superficial, like she had said, but she knew how he loved her- like a kid sister. At that moment, she couldn't have felt worse about herself. For the first time in her life, she was truly insecure. She was always okay being who she was, she thought she did okay. But right then, wanted to be the woman men wrote songs about. The kind of woman that belonged with Derek Morgan.

Luckily sweet Kevin Lynch came into her life with adoring eyes, and she jumped at the chance. She needed to be loved by someone who saw her as desirable, not second rate, and she needed to shield her wounded heart. She regained her confidence with the huge amount of compliments Kevin dolled out. Thus began her wild, nerdy love affair. Apart from what others thought, though, it didn't really last. He was so nice, but Kevin just wasn't the one. There was magic missing, chemistry. She was starting to think she was meant to be alone.

Recently, she gave Derek a hard time about becoming involved with Tamara, a victim's sister. She was concerned about the case, about Tamara's emotional state, and what the effects could be on his job and his heart. It was not a good situation. She was always concerned about him. He reacted the way she expected; he thought she needed to just back the hell off. So, she did.

When his new relationship was brought into the open, she was very friendly to Tamara. She told Morgan she was happy for him. He smiled an odd smile at her that she couldn't read; after all, she wasn't a profiler.

For awhile, she was a little awkward around Derek. She would look at him and not know what to say. It was bizarre; she was always able to talk to Morgan. She tried to shake it off; she didn't want to lose what she had with him. She would rather have something than nothing at all. Except now, there wasn't much more than nothing. She wanted life to be fair. She wanted life to go back to normal. She wanted world peace.

But most of all, she just wanted her best friend back.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_AN: Last of the really angst-filled stuff, I think! Next chapter, we get to have some fun!_

"Damn it, Garcia," he swore at her over the line. "You can do better than that!"

"Would you like to come over here, and tell me how to run my babies, Morgan?" she growled. She was tired of his piss-poor attitude. Lately, he'd been all sour vinegar at her. It was bad enough he was distant on a personal level, but professional was another story. It was unacceptable. "Come on! I dare you."

Morgan actually stared at his cell, a smile creeping up on his lips. It was the first time he smiled in a very long time. He pictured her in his head, fire snapping in her dark eyes. He missed that passion, didn't even realize that was what was so missing in his life. Her passion, it kept him alive.

He thought he needed distance, he thought he needed to get this place out of his head, to find some sanity somewhere in the world. Instead, he was floundering and nearly losing himself, never finding the elusive goal: peace. But he did come to grips with what he was- a supervisory special agent for the BAU. There was no changing that. It was in his blood. He had to live with that.

His nightmares were back, coming nearly nightly. He was a horrible insomniac. Peace escaped him at night the most, when he had the time to think. He thought the most about her, when he closed his eyes. He knew he missed her: her smile, her laugh, he snappy retorts. He also knew that she knew him, better than anyone in the world.

He thought about Tamara, too, at night. She was there, sometimes, and yet he was distant from her. She was a caring soul, but she didn't understand what to do when he fell apart because life just became so damn dark. She was going through a lot of pain in her own life; it consumed her. She suffered from tunnel-vision.

Originally, he thought protecting her and helping her would be enough, but he just gave and gave. He thought of how the opposite was true with Garcia, the best of give and take. He learned to really appreciate reciprocity. It was time to heal whatever chasm was in their life. He needed her. He hoped that somewhere, deep inside, she still needed him, too. Even just a little bit.

"Hey Baby Girl," he began softly. "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. Forgive me."

Her heart pounded, and tears sprung to her eyes. The nickname that she longed to hear for such a long time froze her. It had been months. Forgive him? Could she forgive him for being so distant, so unapproachable? If she did, she'd have to open her heart so he could stomp on it again. Could she just go back to being his friend, when her heart wanted so much more?

"Come on, baby. You're the goddess of these things, and I never should have doubted you."

She hung her head. Of course; this was just work related. He had his girl, his support, his lifeline. He didn't need her in any capacity, unless it was work related. She needed to maintain that professionalism before her heart unzipped itself and ran down the road.

A girl could only take so much pain.

"Yeah, Agent Morgan. I forgive you. Don't let it happen again," she said coolly. "I have what you need…"

After Derek closed his phone, he sighed. She was still very angry. She had every right to be. He was still smiling though. He was more alive than he had felt in months. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but he was going to get his best friend back. He'd lost her, but he was going to find her again. And he'd do whatever it takes to win her back.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_AN: Very long, but no good place to break it._

"Derek," she said, backing into his office carrying a box of files. When she turned, she was surprised. He was sitting at his desk, playing with his bobble-headed dog that she got him. Her picture was up on his desk too. She hadn't noticed it there for a long time.

"What's up, baby girl?" he said, smiling his trademark grin at her. He looked absolutely delicious, and kind of relaxed. This was not like him recently. Derek recently was a tense person she didn't care much for. It was throwing her off.

"Completed files and printings. Hotch said I needed to bring them to you now." She dropped them on his desk and turned to go.

"Hey, sweetheart," he called. "Please sit for a while. Take a break, cop a squat." She glared over at him suspiciously. He added, "Please."

For so long, if he asked her for anything, she would go through fire to get it for him. Now, she didn't know if she wanted to expend the effort. "I really have work to do, Agent Morgan."

His face ran the gamut of emotions. He looked shocked, and then hurt, then disappointed. Then something changed. "Okay, baby, I understand," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe later?"

She was trying desperately to figure out his angle. A couple of months back, she would have been begging to spend time with him. Now, she was guarding her heart. She didn't want him to hurt her, not anymore, not ever again. He left her, left their friendship cold. Yet, she felt guilty, too. Wasn't his friendship worth fighting for? He was with her so many times, he even saved her life.

She had to sort it all out in her head. "Maybe," she said, and left.

It was late in the day. Just about everyone was going home. Penelope had a light to turn off on her map, and then she was going to shut down and go home. She logged off, clicked restart, and pushed the button to power save the many screens in her office. When she turned around, Derek Morgan was leaning in her doorway. He was in jeans and a t-shirt, something he usually didn't wear anymore.

"Can 'maybe' be now, baby girl?"

"Derek," she said, then cursed herself. _Agent Morgan! Not Derek, not hot stuff, not sweet cheeks. Think distance, Penelope! _"It's closing time, I'm going home."

"Can I come with?" he said, smiling at her.

"No," She looked at him and scowled. "What is up with you?"

He just continued to grin at her. "That's why you should want to talk with me, figure things out, laugh and tease."

"Morgan, I'm tired, and I don't have time for stupid games."

That knocked the smile right off his face. "Come on, Penelope. Cut me some slack, please?" He let out a frustrated sigh. "I miss you. I miss us. I made some big mistakes. Please, talk to me."

She closed her eyes, so she didn't have to see the pleading look on his face. She didn't know what to think, what to say, what to do. Her heart was beating, and with each beat, it ached. She was saved from having to answer.

"Listen," he said. "Just hear me out, and you can decide what you want to do. Give me five minutes, baby girl. One for each year of our friendship. That's all I ask."

She scowled over at him again, but plopped down in her chair at her desk. "Talk."

He smiled at the minor victory. He turned the chair around and straddled it, leaning over the back to look at her. "A couple of months back, I had some of the hardest times in my life. Stress here was higher than I ever had it, Hotch was on my ass like a bad diaper, then I got this promotion I didn't want or ask for. I became involved with someone. My heart started telling me that I needed a change, or I was going to lose my mind. I took that as needing to distance myself from the BAU."

"You could have shared that with me, Derek. I was your best friend."

He shook his head sadly. "That's where the problem was. I felt that you were part of the BAU, too. Especially when we argued about Tamara. I just couldn't see straight, and I didn't feel that I could confide in you. I just thought I needed time, and distance."

His sad eyes hit her heart like a heat seeking missile. "Baby girl, a man has never been so wrong as I have been. I blamed the BAU for my pain, and I lumped you in with that. When in reality, you were saving my life. I threw away my best friend with both hands." He ran a hand over his face in disgust. "I was confused, and God knows I don't deserve another chance. But I need you in my life. More than anything else."

"Derek," she said, tears in her eyes. Her beleaguered heart was aching, but another part of it was reaching out to him. Out of everything, she missed his friendship the most. The rest could wait.

"Baby girl," he said, standing up then kneeling in front of her. "Please say you still need me just a little bit, too?"

With a sob, she threw herself into his arms. "I missed you! I missed you so much!" They were both kneeling, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, placing little kisses on her face and head. The warmth soothed her battered heart. It was a natural place to be; she belonged in his arms. She leaned up to kiss his cheek, and found his lips instead.

The shock was instantaneous, surging throughout her body. It was intense and electric. She immediately pulled back. How could a little brush of lips cause that much sensation? She glanced up at him. She knew from the way he was looking at her he felt it too. He had an odd look on his face, like he was fighting something.

Whatever it was, it must have passed, because he just smiled at her again. "You going to the ball tomorrow, Cinderella?"

She laughed. It felt so good to laugh with him again. "Yeah, with Kevin."

"Okay. I'll see you there, then," he said, standing up, and holding a hand out to her. "I'll keep an eye out for your glass slipper." She laughed again, her eyes twinkling at him. He pulled her quickly to her feet, and held her one last time before they left for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_AN: Again, thanks for the reviews, wonderful people! Getting there… hang on._

It was a beautiful night for fall in Virginia. Warm, but not sultry or humid. Just about the entire team and their significant others were there, dressed to the nines and ready to dance. It was going to be a spectacular night. The technical presentations were done earlier in the day, sort of like the Oscars, then the main dance was a go.

Kevin was next to her in his tux looking very dapper in a pale gray tux It was ill-fitting, but neat and tidy. He was such a sweetheart, and always was very complimentary of her. She was wearing a rather stiff burgundy satin and velvet gown, mermaid-style, and her hair plopped on top of her head. She knew she looked better than she ever had before, and she should have been absolutely thrilled. Instead, she was pouting.

She quickly scanned the crowd again, looking for Derek. Earlier that evening, he had shown up with a lusciously dressed Tamara. She looked like the prom queen in her elegant black dress. Derek, he was the prom king. He wore traditional white tie, black tux combo that looked like it was made for him. Only thing wrong? He was not smiling, not from the second he walked in. Now, he disappeared with Tamara somewhere.

This was why she was pouting. Not because he was off with Tamara, but because he disappeared before she got the chance to talk to him and find out why he was frowning. She just wanted him to know she was there if he needed her. She thought he needed to know that; she wanted no distance in their lives anymore.

Derek was holding up the wall, waiting for Tamara to get out of the bathroom. He wished he didn't come tonight. He was in a mood, pensive and cranky. He didn't know how to shake it, and frankly, he didn't care. At this moment, whomever got in his way better beware.

Tamara was very stilted in her conversations with the group. He knew it was a mistake to bring her tonight. This just wasn't an event to go stag to, and the woman he wanted to bring was with someone else. She shocked him; he thought everything with Lynch had cooled down. So, he resulted in bringing Tamara. She just wasn't warming up to the group at all. She clung to him like Velcro; it was very claustrophobic

He glanced over at the dance floor where Lynch and Garcia were dancing. He almost laughed; Lynch was the worst slow dancer he had ever seen. Garcia always said she wasn't a good dancer, but she didn't stand a chance dancing with him. He was like a sailboat on a bad weather day, swaying rather violently back and forth. He decided that someone needed to save Garcia, before she became seasick.

"Excuse me, " he said to Tamara as he stood up. "I'm going to go dance with a friend."

She immediately scowled at him. "Who? Garcia?"

He arched a brow at her. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No," she said, her brow knit. "You've been looking her way the whole evening; you might as well dance with her."

"Are you jealous of Garcia?" he asked. He was going to tell her that she was just a friend, but he couldn't get it out. Derek was never very good at lying.

"Look at her and then look at me," she scoffed. "I think not."

Look at Garcia, she said. Well, he'd certainly done that a lot this evening. She was stunning tonight. Her choice of dress was unique, just like her, and it highlighted the curves of her body. From her loose golden curls to her little satin pumps, she was exquisite. He knew that more than anything, he did not want to miss the chance to dance with her tonight, if only to tell her how beautiful she truly was.

His expression on his face must have changed, because Tamara spoke up again. "Derek; do I have a reason to be jealous?" She was incredulous.

He actually looked at her then. She sucked in her breath; it was written all over his face. Never did he look at her like that. There was always a great deal that Derek held back from her, especially his heart. She could never earn his trust enough for him to show her his heart. But his heart... his heart was in his eyes when he looked at Penelope Garcia. "I'm sorry, Tamara. I never wanted to hurt you, but-"

"I see," she said interrupting him. "Have a nice life, Derek." She grabbed her purse and walked out.

Derek didn't bother trying to stop her.

Kevin asked her, "Are you okay, Penelope? You look sick."

She shot her glance back to Kevin. Poor guy; she'd been trying to hide the nausea dancing with him caused. "I'm sorry, Kevin. I'm just a little distracted tonight."

"That's okay, beautiful," Kevin said, smiling a thousand watt smile at her. "You know you're the most beautiful girl in the room tonight. And I get to dance with you!"

Her eyes teared up a bit at that. He was such a sweet guy! She just didn't feel anything for him. She tried, she really tried, she just… She looked up into Kevin's eyes and felt like an utter ass. She was hopelessly in love with Derek, and this poor soul was obviously in love with her. How could she hurt him because she pined after a man that was so far out of her league, he was almost from a different planet?

_Just love him,_ she told herself. _Just love him. He's sweet, he's nice. Damn it, heart! Just love him._

For some reason, her heart wasn't listening. And then she saw that reason walking across the dance floor, intently focused on her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_AN: Couldn't take it anymore. Needed some passion, just had to write it. Thanks for the reviews; you're the reason I type._

Kevin was enjoying dancing with the prettiest girl at the ball, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"May I?" Derek said, gesturing for him to leave.

For a second, Kevin was considering telling Morgan to fly a kite. He hated to release her to Morgan; for some reason, Penelope had a soft spot for the big Neanderthal. _She could do so much better_, Kevin thought. Being the gentleman he was, and not wanting to argue on this big day, and protecting his skin because Morgan would probably kick his ass if he did say it, he stepped aside.

"Derek," Penelope said, her heart in her throat. Something was different, she could tell by the look on his face. She felt nervous and just couldn't help herself. She started to prattle a bit. "Um, Derek, um, I'm really really bad at this kind of dancing, and I know that you, of course, could dance to anything, and I know I may step on your toes, and then your feet-"

"Penelope, baby girl," he interrupted her gently. He was smiling at her, his eyes dark and twinkling. "Just shut up and dance."

All night she wanted to dance with Derek. Immediately she felt the electricity as Morgan placed his hands on hers, drawing them up to rest on his shoulders. Then his hands were warm on her bare low back. She was pressed so close to him, there was barely room to breathe. In the circle of his arms, everything became okay. It was natural, her body telling her this is where she belonged. It was more than just swaying to the music; the two of them became one, moving seamlessly to the song.

She was amazed. She didn't stumble or trip, she didn't think. All she could do was look into Derek's dark eyes and feel the heat from his hands. Her body trembled under those hands. They gently soothed, moving in low, slow circles that made her even more dizzy. If not for the anchor of his intense eyes, she would have floated away.

A hand came up to touch her cheek, caressing her gently. "I have to tell you, as I tried to so many times tonight, that you are beautiful," he said huskily. "You are a goddess, woman."

"Tease," she said, smiling. Things were better now; he said that kind of thing all the time to her. Didn't mean anything. Just Derek teasing. However, she wasn't expecting the next thing.

"No," he said intensely. "You took my breath away. My God, you're spectacular tonight."

She didn't say anything, she was so speechless. She just glanced up at him, expecting some sort of smirk or half smile, but there was none. She knew he meant it. There was no doubt. She didn't know what to think or what this boded for their friendship. At this point, she didn't care. She was Cinderella for once in her life, not a stepsister, and she was going to dance with her prince.

He continued to dance with her, each step in tune with one another. He held her even closer, resting his temple against hers. He was sure she could feel every breath; he could feel hers. Her breasts were pressed against his chest, her arms looped gently around his neck, and he was in heaven. He knew that he was holding her probably too close for propriety, but he didn't give a damn. He had to; it was as simple as that.

He closed his eyes, getting control of how he felt. He needed a sobering breath or two, or he was going to drag her off the dance floor and kiss the hell out of her. Did she realize she was looking at him with so much wanting? She probably didn't; but he knew. He had eons more experience than she did, and…

"Ex-squeeze me," a voice said behind him, tapping him on the shoulder. "My turn again. After all, I brought her." The smug superiority in Lynch's voice was unmistakable.

Derek glared at him. Surprisingly, the stupid fool didn't back down. Then Derek remembered where he was. He couldn't exactly kick the shit out of Lynch at an FBI event because he dared to dance with Penelope!

Reluctantly, he stepped away, but not before he touched under Penelope's chin. "Later," he said, looking into her eyes intently, brooking no argument. She understood his meaning exactly.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_AN: My dears... I see two, maybe three more chapters. I want to "git r done" before the big 100 tonight! (Usually triggers me to write something new!)_

_Oh shit! _She thought, sitting in the front seat of Kevin's Honda Civic. _He said, "Later." I think I know exactly what he meant about later. He didn't mean…. _she began, but then shook her head. She couldn't lie to herself on that one. _Oh yes. He meant THAT! Morgan, I'm so not ready for this. I'm not ready for HIM. But he looked like he wanted me, but I'm not ready…_

"Oh, Miss Pee-nel-oooh-pee!" Kevin sung out, making her jump in her seat. She glanced guiltily over at him, and he pulled the car in front of her apartment. "We're here."

She smiled at him and quickly got out of the car. Unfortunately, Kevin did, too. "Thanks Kevin for a nice night and for bringing me this year. I appreciate it," she gave him a quick hug and a kiss on his cheek.

"Can I come in for coffee?" he said, hopefully. Funny thing is, Garcia knew it really was just for coffee. The time when anything else would have happened between them was long gone.

"Kevin, that's not a good idea. But thank you for walking me to the door, and thanks for everything." She looked again at him. He had a hurt expression on his face and she felt bad brushing him off. She sighed. "Kevin, I'm sorry, but that's it."

Somehow, that seemed to do it for him. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, his hands going out. "A man knows when he lost," he started to walk away, then turned around. "Penelope?"

She glanced at back at him, the key to her apartment in her hand. "Yes, Kevin?"

"If he hurts you, let me know," he said. "I'll challenge him to a duel."

She smiled at him. He really was a wonderful person, her nerdy ex-love affair. "Thanks."

She opened her door and slipped off her shoes. Cinderella's slippers were gratefully off for the night. Only one thing felt better than dressing up: taking it all off at the end of the night. She shucked off her ballgown and pulled on her little pink T-shirt nightgown. Then she sat on her couch and hugged a pillow to her chest. Well, she just threw away someone who loved her with both hands because she knew- she'd never love him.

She was so very in love with someone else.

There was no doubt that she loved Derek, but did he return it? It scared her, this love she had. Was it reciprocal? He obviously wanted her, that in itself was a miracle in her book. But did he love her? Self doubt and washed over her, unwelcome and burning.

Just then, she heard the key to her door turn.

Derek had waited outside, watching from the Suburban. Lynch was holding his girl. He wanted to jump out and tear that fool's head off. Then he watched him walk away. He shook his head, nearly laughing at himself. Here he was, jealous of a computer geek. He quickly sobered. He lost her once to him; he was never going to let that happen again.

He knew Penelope wanted him, but he wanted more from her. He wanted more than just her friendship, he wanted her body, her heart, her soul. More than that, he wanted to be worthy of her love. He wasn't superficial like she once said, and not when it came to her, ever. He'd withstand the fires of hell for her; he'd gladly lay down his life for her. And not just because she was part of his team, and not just because she was his friend.

Because he loved her.

He turned the key to her apartment that he had for such a long time. He opened the door and saw her sitting on the couch, holding a pillow. She looked at him with absolute fear, doubt, and uncertainty on her face. It would have scared him. But amongst all that, there was no doubting the love that was there, too. Written like a masterpiece for his heart to see.

He was done waiting, done being foolish. He was going to claim what his blind ass should have known was his a long time ago. She was his, and always would be.

He smiled at her, the smile of a very happy man, and took a step over to her. "Aw, hell no, honey," he grabbed her hand and yanked her up into his arms. She landed smack against his chest, and he kissed her, deep and hard, with everything he had in him, until she was limp against him.

She was dazed when she looked up into his eyes with some confusion. "What th-?"

"Don't you doubt me, woman, not how I feel about you, not anymore," he said, holding her face in his hands. His eyes were intense dark-chocolate and his face lacked any humor. "I don't want you to be confused or worried, but I can't sit and discuss this properly. I want you too much to be reasonable."

She looked at him again, still confused, and he dropped a kiss on her pretty pouty lips. "I think you need to know something before we go any farther. I've loved you for years, baby girl. Probably before Battle, even. I told you, but-"

"I didn't know you meant it that way! I mean I-"

"Hey, no blaming, no recriminations, and no worries. We need to do this right, because this is going to change everything." He saw the look of fear cross her face again, and he smiled. "And thank God for that! It's about damn time."

She laughed. She couldn't help it. It just burst out.

"No regrets, baby girl," he said, smiling at her. "I love you, Penelope. I have forever. I will forever. And I refuse to wait any longer to share it with you. Deal?"

She smiled and nodded her head, her eyes glistening. "Deal."

He smiled at her again, a full frontal attack grin. "Now, can I go show you how much I love you?" He tossed off his jacket and stripped off the tie of his tux.

She smiled back a wicked grin. "What have you been waiting for?" He kissed her again, a deep, hot swirling kiss that curled her toes and raised the hair on the back of her neck. Then he lead her into the bedroom.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_AN: Short, sexy chapter, for all those who wanted it. (Like I'd leave you hanging: have faith, dear reviewers!) Have fun!_

By the time they reached the edge of Penelope's bed, his shirt was completely unbuttoned. She was absolutely amazed; she was too busy kissing him, and feeling his caresses, to unbutton him. How did he have time? She had to ask, "How-?"

He grinned at her. "Lots of practice." Before she could say anything else, he tossed his shirt onto the floor and rendered her speechless. He sat down on the edge of her bed, and gave her a sexy half-grin. "Come here."

Lord, he was beautiful, all muscle, sinew, smooth skin, and tattoos. She took a step forward so that she was standing in front of him, and reached out to trace the lion on his shoulder. So many times she wanted to do that, and never had the courage to touch before. Even more than that, she never felt she had the right. She tingled with satisfaction knowing that she did now.

He surprised her by putting his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. She expected to stand between his legs, but he didn't open them. Instead, he coaxed her to straddle his thighs. His hands slipped lower to her bottom, pulling her closer and forcing her to sit down on his lap, facing him.

Immediately his hands shifted, cupping her face, bringing her mouth down so he could kiss her. To keep her balance, she had to place her hands on his shoulders. His kisses caused her to lose track of everything. Originally, he was the one leading her, but in this position, she quickly turned the aggressor, holding on tightly and kissing him with all her pent up passion.

Her head felt heavy, her body over sensitized. It was a drugging sensation, hot warm Derek pressed against her mouth, down her neck, her breasts plastered to his chest with nothing but her nightgown on. His hands were rubbing gently over her bottom and down her thighs, then repeating the motion, over and over, slowly and deliberately. Her temperature was rising, degree by sultry degree, under his hands.

He only broke their kiss once, to pull her nightgown over her head. She couldn't have protested if she wanted to. She was a marionette, and he was pulling her strings. But she wasn't afraid, between them was a trust that was beautiful, magical. She would give her life for Derek, and he would for her.

Derek couldn't get enough of the feel of her, the taste of her. He knew he was over whelming her, but she was overwhelming him too. It was never like this with anyone else. His fingers almost itched with the need to feel her. She was so soft and lush; he growled against the slender column of her neck. He was never going to get enough of her, not in his lifetime, not ever.

They made love. He was never going to let her go, and she needed him like she needed breath.

There was magic in that night, like the magic in Cinderella's glass slipper. Their relationship had turned a definite corner- And with that, there was no regrets.

_AN: Need an epilogue?I gotta think of one if you do!_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: _The Epilogue Chapter_

_AN: Okay, this popped into my head. Thanks much, and enjoy!_

Penelope glanced at the clock in the corner of her computer screen: 10pm. It was going to be a another long night. It always was when he wasn't home to hold her in his arms. It was funny, she used to be able to sleep anytime her head hit the pillow. Now after so many years, when his spot was empty, she had a heck of a time falling asleep.

She smiled a little to herself: Derek didn't have any trouble sleeping anymore. He slept peacefully, no nightmares startling him awake, no more cold sweat running down his back. It made her beyond happy that the love of her life finally found the elusive peace he was searching for. If anyone deserved it, he did.

She thought of Tuesday morning. His blackberry buzzed them awake at three am. He read the screen, swore softly, rubbed his hand over his face, and sighed. He kissed her forehead (She pretended to be sleeping; he hated it when she woke to that phone!), then got up, walking his naked body to the bathroom.

He smiled over his shoulder and caught her staring at his butt. "I knew you weren't sleeping," he said, surprising her. He laughed, "Woman, after six years, haven't you seen enough of this ass?"

She shot him a cheeky grin. "Nope."

Then it was back to usual. He took a shower, then came out and briefed her about what he knew about the case as he got dressed. She leaned back against the pillows, always worried about him going, but hoping that she didn't show it. This was nothing new; she worried about him before they were married, why change now?

Before he left, he gave her a searing kiss, "I love you. I'll be back before you know it." She smiled, but her eyes were still pouting. She couldn't help it, no matter how hard she tried. He just touched under her chin with one long finger, one last touch, and strode purposefully out of the room.

So, three days later, she climbed back into bed alone. She did all the stuff she had to for the day: shuffled the kids to and from daycare, worked computer magic, was the oracle of Quantico, and flirted like hell long distance with her husband. Later, after everyone else went to sleep, it was supposed to be her turn. She punched her pillow and rolled over to her tummy, finally getting to sleep.

She woke up to hot, light kisses on her neck, her breasts, her tummy, everywhere. She reached for him, his heavy weight on top of her comforting and reassuring. His eyes were smoldering, his kisses turned greedy and deep. Their lovemaking was nearly frantic, they couldn't get enough. Afterward, they held on to one another tightly, sticky with each other's sweat.

She smiled up at him, "Welcome home."

"Forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive."

He smiled at her, "Baby, smartest thing I ever did was marrying you."

"Mmm hmm," she said, kissing him. It didn't surprise her that the passion started escalating again. It was going to be a long morning- and she was very glad! She smiled at him wickedly, "I have no regrets, either."


End file.
